I guess after further analysis (errrr….re-reading last week\’s Be Moxie article), I wasn\’t specific enough with my blog regarding owning your mistakes. Ha. SO, here we go again: yes, OWN them. Admit them. Apologize(only if you mean it) for them.
The funny thing about a true apology is when you have wronged and are ready to close that chapter(and begin moving forward)…You have to keep in mind: a difficult part- not only acknowledge your wrong-doing; BUT you MUST also plan to not re-enact the same mistake/hurt on someone again. Many people who lose trust in a person in their life is simply reacting to the hurt they have felt for something they forgave once, but that same person made the conscience decision to repetitively \’pour salt on the wound\’…Unfortunately, if that wound does not become completely healed within ourselves(self-work) after the toxic environment/person has come to light of their full mistake; the individual will continue to have similar trust issues(even if it\’s under new circumstances with new people) moving forward in their life. The same is said for the way children protect themselves(emotionally) growing up…If they find themselves defensive about situations in their adult life- maybe they need to find the root cause of why they\’re defensive. No matter what the definition(or circumstance) causing the distrust, the emotion of holding NO TRUST comes from some place usually buried beneath years of good memories, mixed with some pain.
Please, this part two is based on the fact that when you OWN your mistake- you are acknowledging with empathy that you caused pain to someone else. You put yourself in their place, and you completely understand what you did(down to the details) that would make this person ache. Whether physical pain(gosh, I hope not, but all things happen…) or emotional pain…OWN the ripple effect of your mistakes, with the intent to not repeat the same offense. Doesn\’t it hurt to find fault in yourself? No one likes to feel the blame of their actions because it causes deep shame within them. Feel the pain of your irresponsibility…Remember, there will be tears, and more than likely people will turn away from you(their pain, their judgement). Realize you\’ve lost trust from loved ones. It may take time to rebuild, but keep looking ahead at your \’future-self\’.
On the other side of this pain, you will find a \’cleaner\’ version of yourself. A weight lifted. That\’s where you will grow. You will find your true friends after the crumble. They\’ll pick you up, help dust you off, and watch you become who you never thought you could be…Support is there(and here), but it might feel(and look) completely different from what you are used to seeing in your life. Embrace it. And let the guilt of your mistakes rest behind you.
What is weighing you down from personal growth? What is making you feel stuck in your current life?